Friday, November 12, 2004
| Zombies Unite!
As I sit here at work, recalling the events of this week, I’m reminded how many bottles of wine I threw down my throat. I mean, BOT-TELLS! I don’t think I’ve had a solid shit in days. Just puree of pizza, pinot griogio, and whatever else “p” word that makes my bowels turn upside down. Twas a good week tho. Paul and I have signed the lease for the new apartment. I am totally stoked about the new place. There is a gym and laundry and elevators and a doorman and an ATM and a roof deck and YEAH! I’m SO high class now. Or Paul is. He’s the one paying for the majority of the rent. I just bat my eyelashes and play with my rosacea and I get what I want. My face has been so completely dry this week. I’ll walk into work and sit at my desk for half the day before I even realize that I’ve shed most of my face onto my shirt. I’ve tried numerous lotions, but I think chugging wine and eating pizza may be having a negative effect on my complexion. Hmm. I guess I should drink a gallon of water today and snack on some fresh fruit. PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. Fuck that, fucker. I’ve had a pretty productive day at work. Aside from talking to Kelly over IM and calling my friend on her birthday, I’ve managed to have a great orgasm in the bathroom of my workplace. I always worry that I won’t remember to clean up the spooge. What if someone walks in to take a dump and they slip and fall into a pool of my cum? That would be quite a shame. All week long I had great ideas for the post I was going to write. Needless to say I’ve since forgotten all of the brilliant topics that were resting comfortably in my drunk mind. So I’ve resorted to talking about shit and cum and booze. Again. Why do people even READ this shit? Oh yeah, cuz it’s stimulation for the mind. And for the dick. Thanksgiving is coming soon! That’s all I have to say about that. I really enjoyed the movie Mean Girls. Lindsay Lohan is PRETTY great. And I just love that little Lacey Chabert. She’ll always be Claudia to me, but her acting is pretty wonderful. There is a scene in the movie where she sobs while saying the most ridiculous lines. She pulls it off incredibly. She can really do no wrong. And why is it that the concept of people being hit by busses is so played out, yet I still scream every time it happens? Maybe I was a bus driver in my last life. Or maybe I just masterbated on a lot of busses. Don’t piss me off. I have an hour left of work, but I’ve decided it’s time to go home. So, in conclusion, have a great weekend and go fuck yourself. Hugs! |
